The Premier League transfer window has been officially open for 11 days. If all rumours and speculation were true, Leicester's top scorer would have already moved back and forth between City and Arsenal at least as many times.
The Gunners, so-named for their love of triggering things, triggered a release clause in the striker's contract last month. Both sides have offered contracts and the decision is now down to Vardy. However, this has not stopped others from weighing in and, while I'll promise not to bore non-EU readers with any more terrible referendum jokes after this paragraph, the parallels almost write themselves.
Boris Johnson's blonde lunatic role is played by Robbie Savage, a former Leicester favorite, who left for Derby County, kissed their badge and then came crawling back late this year, claiming to be a Leicester fan. He thinks Vardy should leave.
The smarmy hypocrisy of all other politicians is to be provided by Gary Lineker, who played 2 full top-flight seasons with the Foxes, scoring 24 in the second, and then immediately left for bigger and better things. He thinks Vardy, who scored 24 in his second top-flight season with the club, should stay.
Things seem to have settled down with the man himself in another country, focusing on Euro 2016 and refusing to decide on his future until after. Over the weekend, however, Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger, speaking in China, told reporters that he believed the prolific forward would stay with the Foxes.
For those doubting the international nature of the club's "brand", that's Arsenal's French manager, in China, talking about City's England striker, currently in France to play Slovakia.
Local reporters have today thrown some cold water over these comments, stating that the player has still made no decisions at all, as far as they are aware. Nonetheless, this can still only be good for news for the team.
If Arsenal are less confident of taking him, shouldn't we be more confident of him staying? This could be strange mind games, of course, but seems more like a frustrated outburst from someone who genuinely doesn't think he's going to get his man.
Alongside this speculation have been reports that Watford have rejected a £25m bid from Leicester for captain Troy Deeney. True or not, the Foxes' interest does appear to be genuine. Others have suggested that this will disappear if Vardy votes to remain, but I doubt that.
Interest in Islam Slimani and Ahmed Musa have shown we're happy with paying that kind of fee this summer, while the 6-foot Deeney is more comfortable playing as a second striker. In fact, his added size and aerial presence, combined with the good footballing ability required for the position would make him an ideal partner for the speedster Vardy.
We still don't really know what's going to happen. Arsene Wenger thinks he does, but we don't know if that's for any real reason or if he's just a trophy-cabinet, half-empty sort of man.
Oh and about Riyad Mahrez and N'Golo Kanté...they are still very much up in the air.
Buckle-up, only 71 days to go.