This time last year, The Fosse Posse predicted the outcome of the Premier League season. The results were not exactly dead on, but we’re gluttons for punishment so we’ll be giving it another go.
Joining me in this venture are key contributors Michael Franca, Jake Lawson and Russ McCuen, our glorious leader Shane Evans, and Matt Cook.
We’ll start with something simple: who will win the Premier League, who will be relegated, and which surprise team will leave us thinking “Huh. Didn’t see that coming”?
*Matt’s hedging here. I’d punish this but damn if he hasn't gone bold with his other picks!
** Quite the opposite, Jake’s gone for 2 predictions in 1. He thinks Fulham could fight for top 10, while the European tour will take its toll on Burnley. It happens to the best of us, after all.
On to Leicester City: where will the Foxes finish, how many will Jamie Vardy score, and how many times will James Maddison make me say “Oh my!” like George Takei?
*Jake is not being negative, he just thinks Iheanacho is a great fit for Puel
**Matt doesn’t doubt Maddison, he doubts my Takei impersonation. Oh my.
How long will Claude Puel last?
Shane: You’d like to say the whole season, right? Having said that, I’m going with October.
Jack: If he makes it to Christmas, he’ll make it to next Christmas too.
Michael: The full season. No more itchy trigger finger firings.
Jake: We’ve committed to him and I don’t see us in danger of relegation this year, so if we decide to part ways, it will be at the end of the year.
Matt: Three more years. We’re building now.
Russ: All season
Where will we need to spend in January?
Shane: The defense to me is still a bit shaky. Would love to have that firmed. Also a forward who actually wants to be here would be nice.
Jack: Barring injury I don't see any needs. Hopefully we’ll be buying for the future.
Michael: No more Musa, probably no more Slimani or Ulloa. Definitely striker.
Jake: We don't need to, but we’ll buy a striker.
Matt: Defenders. Pablo Picasso may make good art, but have you ever seen him try and tackle?
Russ: If they play 4-2-3-1, someone in the 3 to set up Vardy.
Harry Maguire’s season will most closely resemble the plot of which film?
Shane: Gladiator. With a World Cup hangover, he’ll experience a bit of a letdown as the season opens up. He’ll get it sorted though and come out on top towards the end of the year...and then I guess he kills Wes Morgan in the process? Yeah, that seems right.
Jack: The Return of the King. Just really long. A full season last year, a full World Cup and now we’re ready to go again. By May his legs may move as slowly as those final scenes.
Michael: John Wick. He will destroy all who oppose him.
Jake: Being John Malkovich. His head is so huge he could fit John Cussack inside it. He’ll score 5 goals this year for us with his head.
Matt: Gone in 60 Seconds (Boo to Matt for this)
Russ: 2001. Some good moments, lots of wtf moments, and some will consider it overrated.
Who will play more games this year: perennially injured footballer Matty James or perennially injured NFL player Rob Gronkowski?
Shane: Gronkowski for sure.
Jack: James, all on loan after January.
Michael: The anthropomorphic polar bear Gronk, unfortunately.
Jake: Matty James, but it won’t be with the first team.
Matt: Matty James if U23’s count.
Russ: James. More chances to play.
Shane: The Hound, ironically. An up and down few years, battling inner strife and self-identification. Smart head on its shoulders though and fully capable of skewering even the toughest, bigger opponent. Often times not pretty but extremely effective.
Jack: Daenerys Targaryen. The leadership can be questionable, things take a lot longer to happen than we’d like and a key weapon has just gone to the bad guys. But something good is gonna happen, right?
Michael: Arya Stark. She may seem like a small (club), but she will viscously tear you apart.
Jake: I’ve never seen Game of Thrones, but I’m guessing it’s some sort of tournament between thrones around the world. I’ll go with the Throne Chair of Denmark because Kasper Schmeichel is going to be in the Premier League Team of the Season.
Matt: Bran. Can do cool shiz, but takes six seasons to show it.
Russ: I hate GoT. So, none of the above.
Russ sticks to his guns, and isn’t about to associate Leicester with something he doesn't like. I can't fault that. Jake I can and will, but at least he put some research in.
That looks pretty clear, then. Liverpool will the league, while arch rivals Everton flounder and Cardiff stand no chance; Puel keeps his job after steering the Foxes into the top half, thanks to large contributions from Jamie Vardy, Wilfred Ndidi, James Maddison and Harry Maguire; and someone at some point may die horribly. Fun!