Leicester Receive Bid For ₩91.5b Player And Other Dubious Transfer News

We here at Fosse Posse pride ourselves on upholding the highest journalistic standards in the industry (at least until we’re replaced by ChatGPT). Years of experience and our battle-tested investigative instincts have taught us one inviolable rule:

Transfer rumours are bunk.

There are certainly a few which come to pass, but the signal-to-noise ratio is worse than the CB radio in your grandfather’s 1972 F-150. This is one of the reasons why, when we assemble our shopping lists, we make no claim of any probability that a player will actually sign for the Foxes. Unless, of course, the player has already put pen to paper, at which point we upgrade the likelihood to “probable.”

That said, there are a lot of persistent rumours and not much time left in the January window. So, let’s take a look at the state of play of some of the more insistent links we’re seeing and try to suss out if there’s anything there.

Transfers In:

Tete

The Brazilian winger is currently on-loan at Olympique Lyonnais from FC Shakhtar Donetsk as Ukrainian football has experienced some unfortunate interruptions. As a left-footed right-sided attacker who does a little of everything, he’s a perfect fit for us and none other than St. Fabrizio Romano has reported that we are in “advanced talks” to sign him. It remains, however, a complicated bit of business. The deal must be struck with the parent club as well as Lyon and the player himself.

Fosse Posse Probability Rating: It’s so plausible we can’t believe it.

Jack Harrison

Speaking of Leeds United (I wasn’t speaking of them, but Fabrizio was), we’re also seeing a lot of links to Jack Harrison. The winger, who is capable of playing on either side but really should never be used on the right, is probably the Leeds player who was most hurt by replacing manager Marco Bielsa with Jesse Marsch. His profile screams “defensive-minded left wingback” which is not what Leicester should be looking for. He might be competition for Barnes?

Fosse Posse Probability Rating: > 0, which is higher than it should be

Harry Souttar

The giant Stoke City centre-half was on our shopping list 18 months ago, so you’d think we’d be crowing about how clever we were, but we misidentified him as a Scotland international in that article when he’d already committed to Australia. Please don’t read it. Anyway, Souttar has been very good for Stoke except for this season as he’s been injured. He looked the part at the World Cup, but the concern is that his stature and profile are uncannily similar to those of Jannik Vestergaard.

Photo by Gareth Copley/Getty Images

Fosse Posse Probability Rating: ∇2ψ+8π2 m(E – U)ψ/h 2=0

Ryan Kent

This feels like a plan with a designation well down alphabet way, but there have been numerous reports suggesting that we’re looking at him. It’s difficult to find a player that the stat sites have a larger range of disagreement about. Some see him as very useful left-footed left winger who scores from time to time and creates at a very high rate. Others list him as a right winger who struggles to avoid tying his own boots together. If the former is accurate, we could do worse, but this one feels unlikely even by the low standard of transfer rumours.

Fosse Posse Probability Rating: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Kamil Piatkowski

Finally, one we can say is definitive! As in “it’s definitely not going to happen.” Piatkowski turned down a move to the ing Po in favour of a loan move to Gent. Without comment, here’s what he had to say about the move:

“Did we really consider Leicester? Yes and no. The English made an offer but on reflection we felt it was not the time to go to the Premier League. In our opinion, this is the moment to step aside, give yourself a chance to play regularly in a good league and in a good team, and possibly take one or two steps forward in the summer.”

Fosse Posse Probability Rating: -273.15 °C or -459.67 °F

Transfers Out:

Ayoze Perez

We’ve been hearing that Ayoze had one foot out the door all month. This is unfortunate because I kind of like him and he’s been low-key one of our better players this season. For some reason, he has it in his head that he’d rather play regularly for a side in sunny Spain than sit on the bench in the East Midlands.

Photo By German Lama/Europa Press via Getty Images

Fosse Posse Probability Rating: Flip a coin

Çağlar Söyüncü

For a player who is as out in the cold as Cags is, it’s a little surprising that there’s so little news regarding his departure. He is supposed to have all already agreed to move to Atletico Madrid and the Spanish side is trying to get him here earlier. It’s kind of moot as Mr. Rodgers has made it abundantly clear that he will not be playing his Turkish defender except in cases of dire need.

Fosse Posse Probability Rating: Do you know what a transcendental equation is?

James Maddison

Some reports are suggesting that the Foxes have received an actual offer for Madders from Arsenal. While it makes sense from their point of view, it seems extremely unlikely that the Gunners’ offer will approach my $1 gazillion dollar valuation of the player. My valuation is of no import, but I would hope that it isn’t far off from how the staff on Filbert Way view their star midfielder. It would take a king’s ransom for it to make sense to sell him...and Fofana and Maguire weren’t kings.

Fosse Posse Probability Rating: As Fezzik would say, “Inconceivable!”