Hello, and welcome to this year’s instalment of our quasi-annual tradition of “making predictions and demonstrating that football is utterly random and completely unpredictable.” That’s the only possible explanation for our accuracy in previous years.
But this year, our predictions are guaranteed to be 100% accurate (ed: there is no such guarantee). Prepare to be amazed as we gaze into our crystal balls and produce what are certain to be uncannily accurate descriptions of the coming season (ed: again, there is no certainty. Please do not make any wagers based on our predictions).
The questions (in entomological order):
Which two clubs will win the automatic promotion spots?
I’m not going to say we’re optimistic, but everyone has Leicester in one of the two spots. Trambak reasons:
“I’m betting on Leicester City and Middlesbrough in securing automatic promotion to the PL at the end of this upcoming championship season. While The Foxes have lost the likes of Youri Tielemans, James Maddison, the arrivals of Conor Coady and Harry Winks should pay dividends in the English second division. New manager Enzo Maresca is optimistic and having experience working under Pep Guardiola, we can expect him to lead the Leicester side eloquently throughout the campaign.”
Sidd and Tanner also have Boro and City, while Jack picked Leicester and Leeds. I’ve got the Foxes and Blackburn.
Who will be relegated from the Championship?
This category always has the widest range of guesses, so it’s a little surprising that we’re largely in agreement on the relegated clubs. Jack opines:
“Always the hardest thing to predict. I’ll say Plymouth, Rotherham and there’s always a shock so let’s say…Stoke.”
Sidd went with Rotherham, Huddersfield, and QPR. Trambak has QPR, Plymouth, and Cardiff. I went with exactly the same three as Trambak, mostly because I have a thing against QPR.
Who will be the biggest surprise club?
There’s no agreement on this one. Jack went with Birmingham, Trambak has Hull City, and Sidd selected West Bromwich Albion. Tanner went with Swansea.
I’m going to pick the shambolic Norwich City on account of my friend Nick supporting them, which has proven as reliable a reason as any other I’ve used.
Who will be the Foxes’ breakout star?
Once again, we’ve all gone with different picks and Jack cheated by selecting two players:
“I still have unreasonably high hopes for Will Alves, Sammy Braybrooke and Ben Nelson. But after preseason it’s clear that Mcateer and Marcal-Madivadua have the inside track.”
Sidd and Tanner picked Stephy Mavididi while Trambak selected Harry Winks. If you’re questioning the selection of an England international who has featured in the Champions League, I suggest you pay a little more attention to his last few years. It’s a legit pick. I’m going with Hamza Choudhury as I just love Hamza.
Who will be Leicester’s Player of the year?
Trambak selected Kelechi Iheanacho, while Jack went with Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall: “ I think he can dominate this level.” Sidd picked Ricardo Pereira and, if not, Harry Winks. Tanner, a man after my own heart, went with Jamie Vardy. All of these are undeniably better selections than mine, which is Mads Hermansen.
Who will be our top scorer this season?
Both Sidd and Jack selected Kelechi Iheanacho, picking Patson Daka and Jamie Vardy respectively as backups should the Seniorman leave. Trambak went against his pick for Player of the Year: “I’d say Patson Daka but recent rumors linking him to Roma are waving such a possibility of being the top scorer. Jamie Vardy should get the top scorer if Daka leaves.”
I’m going with Jamie Vardy on the theory that there is never any joy betting against him and Tanner agrees.
Where will the Foxes finish in the league?
Jack and Tanner, ever the optimists, predict that we will top the league: “Haters gonna hate but I’m an optimist and I can’t seem to shake it off. 1st.”
Sidd, Trambak, and I all took a vastly more measured look at things and have us finishing 2nd.
Which of our 5 (FIVE) first-team goalkeepers will get the most starts?
Trambak has us continuing with the status quo: “Danny Ward will slightly pass Daniel Iversen in appearances.”
The rest of us have been afflicted with Mads fever selected Mads Hermansen.
So there you have it! Our iron-clad predictions for the 2023/24 season. What do you think? Please let us know your selections in the comments!
(Approximately) where will the Foxes finish this campaign?
This poll is closed
Top 2: Automatic promotion!
In the playoffs!
League One, here we come (again)...